matt mcgill: my nearly unfettered thoughts

yesterday, marc asked for a watch. it was the second time he asked. actually he said, dad, i’m getting a watch.

i wonder what aspects of a watch he finds so appealing.

is it the physicality of having something to play with, to wear, to feel?

is it because mom nearly always has a watch on her wrist?

is it because i was going to get  watch and then decided to get it?

does he want it because someone else has one…a friend or TV character like BEN 10?

is it because mom is nearly always on time, and very time-aware? or because I’m often late and time-oblivious?

is he worried about being late?

does he want to get a better sense for how long a minute and hour lasts?

I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have appointments that he doesn’t want to miss.

I’m positive he doesn’t want a watch to serve as a reminder that time won’t last very long, but that would be cool if he did.

Neither is a watch a reminder that wishing for more time is a horrible blasphemy that fails to trust God.

maybe he wants another thing to hit max with.

it has been SO long since I’ve blogged anything… I’m sure the four people who read this aren’t very disappointed…

I think it’s more about the writing than it is about the reading….anyhow….

Today was interesting, it was a great day, i did something that i haven’t done in a long time. I created something. I cleared out the day… i had one appointment, but it was canceled…and I spent the day creating. It wasn’t great work. I was a little rushed, and to be honest, a little rusty. It wasn’t work I’d be proud of, I’d probably give it a C. There’s a large part of me that hates that, but there’s a larger part of me that was filled with the joy of creating.

Putting together tools is really something that’s at the top of what I can do well, and I need to find more time to do this kind of thing. I will be making a better contribution to the ministry at saddleback when I am more focused on creating rather than meetings and holding on to too much….

I have some ideas on how I can do this, but I need some heads down time to make this happen…

This is pretty cool…. I can post from an iPhone app …. Really cool tech …

max gets an award…matt coaches some soccer…marc plays some soccer (enhanced by the coaching)…marc builds legos…max gets his pads for the first time!

I got this motivational letter today, I thought it was great.

Max, Marc, Morgan, Miller, and Mac,

This is another instruction on hope. As I consider what I previously wrote, I felt like it was a cold and mechanical thing. I would bet technical manuals are more exciting and interesting! As I said before, I struggle to explain the nature of hope, for it is so simple, but it touches everything. Let’s try looking at a few pictures of hope.

First, consider Las Vegas. This city is built on hope, and nothing else is it’s foundation. So many countless hordes of people go there because of hope. True, it is such a small hope and for most, a false hope. The odds of winning are…well, the casino owners are rich, and the gamblers are not. The object of their hope, money, is hardly a worthy vessel. In Vegas, we can see the power hope holds over others. Even when it’s small and in a weak object, there is much motivation for action. Our hopes control our lives. There is no faster way to self-deception than a false hope! (“Yea, most people don’t win, but I WILL!!”)

What is better, the anticipation of Christmas or it’s aftermath? Even if we unwrap everything we dream (and let’s even assume our dreams are good), hope is always more meaningful and motivating the possession. You stop climbing when you reach the top of the mountain. We can tell much about a person’s maturity (or our own, of course!), based on the what causes their satisfaction or frustration.

Have I said this yet? Maturity is to hope in the right things to the right degree. Most hope too much in the wrong things, and therefore live empty lives. Vegas is not evil, in and of itself, it is how much hope we place in Vegas which can be foolish.

Here is my last picture of hope for you to consider: fear. Pick any fear and think about it for a moment.

Many fears appear to be complex, but a little reflection sheds a lot of insight. Fear is a flavor of hope, and it’s not one we were designed to taste for very long. Fear is acute hope, and it’s object is the avoidance of some kind of pain. Fear calls us to quick action, and that can be a great thing. Should a bear rush upon you as you read this, you ought to be afraid! No doubt there have been times that I have caused you to fear… I hope they have been wise and proper, and not born out of my pride or guilt. …but now I’m way off of our subject.

Living in fear for the long term burns us out, makes us less sensitive and more reactive. We were created to run toward something, not to run away from something!

The questions now may be obvious for you, or some of you. What are your hopes…are they too strong, too weak? What are the greatest hopes we ought to reach for? Are all of our hopes found in Christ? How well do you know your own hopes? Why did you get out of bed this morning? When are you the most frustrated? when are you the most fulfilled? Which of those—frustration or fulfillment—characterized your life for the last month or so? What are your deepest fears? Which ones to you carry with you every day? Is fear a constant companion?

To live is Christ, to die is gain. These contain the greatest hopes that I have discovered. Every day is a day to be faithful to the calling of Christ. Every day is a day to remember our citizenship in heaven, the promise of a better place, a perfect place where there is no more pain and strife or disconnection for God.

In my devotions, I’m reading through Ecclesiastes and Jeremiah. I stopped to reflect on the following passage:

^17 “Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them. ^18 Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land—against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests and the people of the land. ^19 They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord. (Jeremiah 1:17-19)

what I love about this passage

I love the clear call to be bold and make a difference, following God’s leading to change the world—and to do all of this without fear. It’s obvious that Jeremiah faced obstacles on a scale I can’t imagine. He stood before kings and kingdoms! However, I can identify with the call to be faithful in the moment. I can be ready to be used by God. I can stand up and say the right thing. I can be strong through trusting in God’s strength and refuse to give into fear. This passage reminds me of a few others:

“Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season” (2 Timothy 4:2)

^15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ^16 making the most of every opportunity… (Ephesians 5:15-16)

^11 “When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, ^12 for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.” (Luke 12:11-12)

Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. (2 Corinthians 3:12)

how I am challenged by this passage

I’m challenged in a few different areas by this passage. I need to be better at being ready, listening to what God has to say, and trusting him enough to say the right thing. There are times when I’m not listening well enough, and then I’m not ready when the moment comes. There are times I’m not bold enough, I know what to say but I don’t. There are also times when I say something, with boldness and without fear, but it’s more my message than it is God’s message.

I need to be better at listening and speaking without fear, and speaking God’s words and not my own!

, or that I’m not bold enough. There are also times when I am too bold, and speaking a message that’s my own, rather than making sure it’s what God wants me to say.

Of course it’s possible to love people too much…most of us do this with regularity. We might love their attention or approval or their affection (sometimes we love the letter A)…maybe we love ourselves too much, a clever phrase or a spectacular achievement. We are crazy: we’ll even hold on to a deep bitterness so we can think, “I am better for suffering, when others don’t.”

It is a sad and subtle thing when we love people too much in the name of Jesus. When we crave influence more than connecting with God, we are on a dangerous path to a powerless and empty life. It’s so easy to cut corners, to slack off a bit on the unseen things we do to devote ourselves to God. I came across this in my readings the other day and I thought I’d pass it along:

No man appears in safety before the public eye unless he first relishes obscurity. No man is safe in speaking unless he loves to be silent. No man rules safely unless he is willing to be ruled. No man commands safely unless he has learned well how to obey. No man rejoices safely unless he has within him the testimony of a good conscience….It is better for a man to be obscure and to attend to his salvation than to neglect it and work miracles. It is praiseworthy for a religious seldom to go abroad, to flee the sight of men and have no wish to see them.

How about you: is the attention of others too important for you?