Max, Marc, Morgan, Miller, and Mac.

There are four pursuits I would like you to consider carefully for your personal life. These things represent the qualities of Christ I work hardest to attain. There’s many different ways to say these things. It was difficult for me to narrow them to four. These don’t have to be the defining markers of your faith like they are for me. At the time of me writing this, I have been taking God seriously for more than two decades and it took me many months to discern and distil these qualities. It will take you a long time to see how you live your faith.

The first pursuit is love and so this is what we shall discuss. It makes sense to begin with this because this is the best description of God (after YHWH) and our highest ideal to which we reach. Without love we are nothing.

It is impossible to cover all of what it means to show love. Many things contribute to this. In everyday language, love is diluted from overuse: I love your mother and I love key lime pie. Coming to a comprehensive biblical understanding of love is difficult because nearly every chapter speaks of love.

Therefore: become a student and practitioner of love. You’ll never stop learning and you’ll never perfect the art.

Since you were little, I have told you that loving a person means wanting the very best things for them. I encouraged and challenged you often to show love, to consider what the very best thing was for the other person.

Doing this consistently for the rest of your life would set you apart from most in this world. While this understanding of love is biblical, it is an incomplete and immature understanding. It assumes you know what the very best thing is for a person.

Only God can teach you what is the best thing for a person. We will talk more of these when we speak of truth, but it is imperative that you understand this now. For while love means many things but it doesn’t mean every thing. Without a true foundation we will call all things love.

I happen to favor John 15:13: “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” Of course you know me well and understand that I’m drawn to absolutes and to the furthest reaches… the “greatest love” is something I’d latch on to quickly. This Scripture is raw and it is real. Raw like an open wound and real like the tombstone you’ll someday be under. Nothing comfortable about that love (unless you are receiving it). Consider: are the friends you have now worth dying for? This isn’t a test of them (we’ll do that later), but a test of your character.

There are many ways to love, therefore you must learn to love in different ways. The more ways you can love, the more people you can serve. It is an immaturity to only know one or two loves. This kind of blindness can lead to devastating and debilitating relationships. Further on I will show you different ways to love. Today you can look around at the people you know and learn from them. I tend to love others in a way they rarely experience.

Love with reckless abandon. Do you know what this means? Reckless abandon is a pack of hungry wolves. They are lean from a long lacking of food through the cold winter. They stumble across a lone rabbit and give chase without thought, without fear, without care. Focused and driven. Love like this.

My sons. You will be hurt. And it will happen so many times. Keep loving. Keep on wanting the very best thing for others. My dear Max, at the time of me writing this, you are the most sensitive of your brothers. I know the fear of rejection and isolation is an icy paralysis for you. When this happens, don’t retreat for long. Keep loving. My sweet Marc. For you, the betrayal of a loyalty propels you into a hot rage. I understand your rage. I, too, burn for justice and what’s right. Love. Please learn to love. You will be rejected and you will be betrayed. Through love you will break the shackles these things create. Through loving, God will heal and strengthen you. In love you will help others.

I have more to write, but I must stop. I can barely write. For now I am burning with a hot rage, I have only one desire to crush the one who hurts you. I must stop now and prepare myself for when these days come so that when you are hurt, I too can love. Were it to happen tonight, I would be consumed with an unholy and loveless rage. If my love for you keeps me from loving others, then am I loving you well? No.

(here’s my first draft at an introduction)

An Introduction |understanding what’s crucial

Max, Marc, Morgan, Miller, and Mac.
One of my greatest hopes is that you would come to accept what is most crucial in this life: the care of your soul. The false paths of worldly achievement seem to be uncountable. Many strive for strength and find physical achievements. Many search for power and find influence. Many seek favor from others and find acceptance. Many spend their time accumulating and find possession.

All of these are empty and temporary. It’s your soul that will last forever. Tend to it and you’ll find its true design. As one who has gone before you, I ask that you trust me. You’ll discover an excitement that never fades, a significance that’s unmatchable, a confidence that’s unshakable, a hope that endures and a life that’s worth living. Consider the last 50 people you talked with: how many are happy, thrilled, excited with their lives? Everyone wants the good life, but so few seem to find it.

You won’t have to trust me for very long, for God’s faithfulness is fast and sure. Soon you’ll have your own proof in your own terms.

In the false paths, you’ll find only lies and deception, a fleeting and fickle happiness, self destruction and despair.

Jesus said that he came to give us a full and abundant life.

There are a thousand attributes to spiritual maturity. Each of us are strong in some, and weak in many. There are a thousand lessons to learn, and some you’ll learn quick and other will elude you into your eighty’s. All of this is to say that my lessons shall be of some use to you, but remember than my lessons are not your lessons.

Understand this: the deepest and most important spiritual realities are wordless. They defy description because they are intensely personal. Can you fully capture with words your mother’s love for you? You know it, you’ve experienced it, but the words fall short.

The weakness of words is not that that fall short for the author, but that the reader places too much upon them. He places too many assumptions upon them and these beget more assumptions like rabbits. These words aren’t your destination (it’s my hope that your destination is in Christ, and secure in Heaven.). These words are launch pads for your heart and mind, for the living out of your faith in a fallen world. These words are a footpath, they are warning signs, and in some places, they will be dead ends. Walk the path, but don’t stick to it. Ignore not the warnings, and perhaps you can learn without painful and personal experiences. Don’t be discouraged by the dead ends, for without them your faith and your god is very small.

To live is Christ, to die is gain.

Love,

Your father.

With my kids getting older, and more of them on the way, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to pass on to them as far as what I think the spiritual life is all about. I’ve been thinking in terms of what I want to write for them. (…of course, our live together is going to say so much more than some words…)

I’ve had too many ideas….I’m not sure how I want to organize the entire thing, but currently I’m thinking about the characteristics of my faith in particular…. not just the things that "everyone" should know,  be, do…. the basics are essentials by definition, but I want to capture the my perspective… I’ve been working on this list for a few weeks now:

FOUR PURSUITS of the spiritual life: love, hope, truth, humility

NINE PRACTICES for spiritual growth: devotion, confession, commitment, discover, discern, delight, reflect, sacrifice, consider

TWELVE PITFALLS to avoid: pride, foolishness, despair, fear, temptation, self reliance, isolation, insecurity, popularity, influence, hypocrisy, discontent 

SIXTEEN PATHS to better relationships: understanding, revealing, forgiving, listening, sharing, empathizing, reflecting, time, improving, laughing, crying, raging, serving, persevering, committing, and confessing

I’ve decided that I’m going to keep adding and refining this list as I read through some of my very favorite scriptures (Deut., Ecc., Isa, Mt., Jn, Rom., Heb., Ph., Tim., and James)

NOW, I’m not hoping to write something that can be summed up in a sentence or two… that’s for sure! Although, I fear I’m trying to be too cute with the pursuits, practices, pitfalls, and paths… we’ll see how that shakes out.

what’s the spiritual legacy you want to leave?

today was a long day…I was in San clemente for their first service, and then came home to get ready for a party we had at the park to celebrate Morgan’s first birthday. lots of people showed up and it was a ton of fun…

within 2 weeks we’re adopting our fourth child…the birth mother and father and their moms showed up to the party today…really cool since they drove all the way from riverside…

tomorrow we will find out the gender of our fifth child, who is due in November. Misha really wants another boy, giving us five boys… I’m fine with whatever God sees fit to provide us with. I’m not much for hoping in the utterly unpredictable…

Grammy and Grandpa are in town, so that’s always really really fun. (and no, I’m not just saying that because they read this blog. first of all, I don’t think they do. second, how little you know me if you even wondered that.)

I love you very much, but I am sorry I’ve not posted to you very much lately. You are still the blog-light of my life, I have just been busy. soon i will return to you in full faithfulness.

xoxoxoxox

matt

I’m pretty sure you don’t want to miss these:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/26427589@N04/sets/72157605776529195/detail/

I had a great get away last weekend. Misha’s mom encouraged us to get away before the next baby comes in July… easy advice to follow! We talked to the fields and got the key to stay at their place in Leucadia. Our friend Courtney agreed to watch Max (6), Marc (5), and Morgan (>1).

It was the right time to get away…after 4 long weeks of ministry…and Misha has been so tired lately (pregnancy will do this, I hear), that it was really good to get away.

It was fun to eat out, sleep in, watch a lot of movies, talk more than we normally do, and shop. The cool thing was that we also go to eat without kids, sleep without kids, watch movies without kids, talk without the kids, and shop without the kids. I managed to go for two walks, but they weren’t as long as I’ve been doing, and they were on level ground…

Of course, this was also a great time to reflect…although I didn’t reflect as much as I wanted. I had one of those profound moments where I made a simple connection, but this connection has eluded me for years. I’ve been wondering what the word for “negative hope” would be…dread came close, but didn’t seem right. Anyhow, I wasn’t sure what the opposite of hope was, other than “hopelessness.” That wasn’t very satisfying. Then it came to me: fear, that’s the opposite of hope. Anyhow, like I said: a SIMPLE CONNECTION…but something that’s been beyond my understanding.

So, at one of our meals, I asked Misha if she thought we were on track, and if there was anything we needed to change.

That’s one of those “hold your breath” moments… because the safe and comfortable and predictable patterns of relating to one another are so EASY to maintain… and, if I thought there was anything to change I would have said so…however, I asked the open ended question incase I’ve been missing some clues…

The consensus at the table was that things were looking really good. We love who are boys are becoming. Life is tiring right now, but it’s not out of control. I’d like to keep getting better with my fat larded ness.

As we were talking, we decided to change up our date nights and make them a tiny bit more focused. We’re going to be more intentional about having spiritual conversations. As a starting point each week, we’re going to talk about what we’re reading in scripture.

hope you had a great weekend!

mattmcgill

the last two days were very strange… I started writing about it half way through, but couldn’t finish… I’m glad I didn’t…

I visited three churches, their cities: Lompoc, Santa Maria, and Solvang. I met some really great people, and I came face to face with some _crazy_ church politics. I’ll write more about it later.

Oh yea, I’m writing this blog on my new computer. It’s a Dell XPS (desktop). My friend at integrity computer concepts gave me some great advice and ordered the machine for me. If you need some computer help, ask him first! http://www.integritycomputerconcepts.com

It’s only Tuesday, but I feel like it’s been the longest week of my life. Nothing bad has happened, but it still feels long.

I’ve finished most of my thinking about what it means to test God. I’d like to find the time to post the scriptures I studied and the conclusions I found. It seems to me, speaking biblically, testing God means doubting his presence or power after a clear demonstration of his power. For the Israelites, they tested God at Massah after being delivered from Egypt. In Deut, they were warned not to test God AFTER they received the promise land (a clear demonstration of God’s power). When Jesus was tempted by the Devil, he didn’t want to test God after his baptism where he hear God’s voice from heaven. One can presume that when John the Baptist sent disciples to see if Jesus was the messiah wasn’t testing God because Jesus didn’t say he was testing God. Nor did Jesus say Thomas was testing God when he doubted. The line between testing God and legitimate doubt seems to be a line that is very personal and difficult to discern from the outside. Anyhow, I wrote all of this without my notes, and this is supposed to be the short version…

I am headed to the LOMPOC area tomorrow and Thursday to talk to some churches that may be interested in being a regional campus. Merging with another church is something that is TOTALLY NEW for us…so I’m excited. I’m not going to sell saddleback, so that’s a good thing, since I hate selling anything. (as greg vujnov) Perhaps I’m communist.

Speaking of communism, I made a joke about all the regionals having the same graphics look, that I wanted it to be totally communist and give no choices. Only Tom Holladay laughed, out of the 11 guys in the room. That tells you how smart he is.

Tonight I ordered a new book to read: SMART WORLD. I hope it’s good. I will try to let you know either way. I really want to buy a Kindle. I think the readers of this blog should donate something to help me buy it. (not kidding, sort of.)

On my Amazon home page, this is what it suggested for me to buy: "Release Your Wild Side with Animal Print Apparel" … women’s clothing. Just who do they think they are dealing with here? the Mish is a force of nature, no mere animal or creature.

Many of you haven’t voted on my poll, which means you are evil and uncaring.

love,

matt