I’ve moved to a new blog.

Hey! I’ve moved to a new blog. Head on over to www.growspiritually.com to check out my newest posts. Thanks! Matt  

Growing through Conflict #6: Determine what you need to say.

Click here for the rest of the Growing through Conflict series. Conflicts are serious and important, so you can’t afford to simply “wing it.” Some people have really great “people skills,” they are generally liked by most people so they are very comfortable around others. They might neglect thinking through what they need to say because they believe their above …

Growing through Conflict #5: Decide if you Ought to Say Something

Click here for the rest of the Growing through Conflict series. “You don’t have to say everything you are thinking.” Through the years, I’ve heard this countless times from one of my mentors and best friends. I’m excessively expressive. A conversation with me can feel like running a marathon while drinking from a firehose while standing under an avalanche. I’m …

Growing through Conflict #4: Identify the “kind” of Conflict

Click here for the rest of the Growing through Conflict series. As I see it, there are essentially three types of conflict: (a) personal offense, (b) disagreement, or (c) miscommunication. Personal Offense All conflicts carry a degree of emotion—this is what makes them so painful—however conflicts are especially charged emotionally when someone has been personally wounded. When a person feels attacked …

Growing through Conflict #3: Evaluate your “Right” to be offended or hurt.

Click here for the rest of the Growing through Conflict series. This step is tough! Now is the time to do some emotional “heart surgery”. It calls for prayer, reflection, and time in God’s Word. Oh, and honesty. The really hard part is being honest with yourself because our self-deceptions are so comforting. This is the step where you take …

Growing through conflict: #2 Discern your internal triggers

Every conflict reveals something about your identity. A conflict can be like a mirror for your soul–if you take the time to look. What was it about this conflict that made you angry (or hurt, etc.)? The typical response isn’t good enough: “Anyone would get angry at this!” And here’s why: when we rush past examination to arrive at justification, …

Growing through conflict: #1 Identify the basic facts

Conflicts come in all shapes and sizes. They are rational and emotional and the most difficult ones are personal. It’s tough to think clearly when we’ve been hurt, offended, angered, etc. (chose your own description, I don’t want to put you in a box!). Everyone has blindspots, and these seem to grow when we feel attacked. To grow through conflict, …

Who Will Rescue Us?

“So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me… What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” (Romans 7:21-24) In this world, on this side of eternity, life is difficult and draining. Every failure creates conflicting feelings that are hollow …

Meet The Controllers

They fear the unknown and hate the unknowable. They answer questions without questioning answers. Greet you with a plastic face, Face their life with an iron fist, Fractured heart with empty joy. Predictable is comfortable is predictable. Cage the dragons, vanish the chaos! Make life safe like a roller coaster. Lock it down! Label it right! Get it figured out tonight! …

Two Responses to Conflict

Let’s face it, no one likes conflict. However, conflict is inevitable. It’s never a question of IF a conflict might occur, it’s a question of WHEN. If a conflict is handled with maturity, it can lead to tremendous growth. We can grow closer to God, others, and even develop personal insight. Conflict creates unique opportunity. There are two common responses …