HOKMA

  • The casualties of the consumption war

    “They will eat but not have enough; they will engage in prostitution but not flourish.” (Hosea 4:10)

    Ultimately, living apart from God will not lead to satisfaction or growth. We can have all the food in the world and still not have enough if we aren’t honoring God. We can pursue every sexual desire (prostitution) and still not grow if we aren’t serving God.

    • You can be in a crowd of people and still be lonely.
    • You can have access to nearly infinite information through Google and still be foolish.

    Consumption isn’t enough because it doesn’t lead to significance. Food is good, and so is sex. But the pursuit of consumption doesn’t get us where we need to be. We need God’s presence. Living according to God’s will leads to contentment (having enough) and flourishing. This is what we were created for!

    Let us seek God first. Let us turn away from the things that keep us from him. Let us pay attention to our discontent, for it is a warning light that we are wandering off the path of devotion.

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  • Did Jesus really get overwhelmed?

    “My soul is overwhelmed to the point of death” (Mark 14:34)

    I don’t understand the mystery of Jesus being overwhelmed. Jesus was both man and God! How could he get overwhelmed? It doesn’t make sense to me. I get overwhelmed because my power and knowledge are (severely) limited. God is can’t be overwhelmed because his power and knowledge are limitless.

    We could say that Jesus was overwhelmed because he was “limited” in some ways for the 30+ years he was on earth. What’s the evidence for this thinking? For starters, he didn’t know when the end would come (Mark 12:32). Additionally, when he was young, it seemed as if Jesus learned from others (Luke 2:46). Finally, Jesus couldn’t be more than one place at a time. Where did these “limitations” begin and end? One mystery is not solved by falling back on another.

    Mysteries ought to be explored because this moves us to greater enthusiasm toward God.

    We are told that Jesus was overwhelmed — no explanation was given. While can’t put all the pieces together, the overall picture is clear enough:

    • Jesus was overwhelmed— this is a great comfort for us to consider.
    • Jesus was overwhelmed, and he reached out to others for support—we need to cultivate the right community for support.
    • Jesus was overwhelmed, and he still fulfilled his mission—this is an example we need to follow.

    For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. (Hebrew 4:15)

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  • More valuable offerings: questions from the Widow’s Offering in Mark 12:41-44

    Questions are good, they can lead to greater understanding. This is an essential skill for reading Scripture to hear God speak.

    Unfortunately, asking questions isn’t a habit for many people. Why not? First, they lead to hard work. The path of least resistance often bypasses questions. Additionally, asking a question requires a measure of humility—most of us don’t want to look dumb.

    Hard work humility aren’t popular choices!

    Without questions, we rarely grow and get stuck in a rut. Our assumptions become continuously reinforced. With a casual reading, the lesson from the poor widow’s offering seems simple enough. Let’s dig deeper without overcomplicating the teaching.

    41 Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. 42 But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. 43 Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. 44 They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.” (Mark 12:41–44)

    The widow gave “all she had to live on.” Is this literal? Did her offering make her a greater burden to others because she gave away everything?

    For Jesus, the value of an offering is not the size of the gift but the size of the sacrifice. What then, does it mean to sacrifice? Is Jesus telling us to give everything like the widow? Or to do better than the wealthy? If so, how much sacrifice is required? Are parents called to give everything they have to the point of being unable to provide for their kids?

    What were the external circumstances of the widow? Was she without family or work and at the mercy of handouts by strangers? Or did she have someone to care for her? If she could count on her needs being met, then wasn’t she also giving out of her wealth?

    Since Jesus gives no specific rule, are we called to give sacrificial offerings according to our conscience? If this is the case, why didn’t he say this?

    While the example for this teaching is about financial offerings, does it apply to our other offerings of worship? Scripture is clear that God is to be our first priority and that we love him with our heart, soul, and strength. Is it possible that this teaching applies not to financial offerings but to our offerings of worship?

    This passage is rich with historical context. It would be easy to focus on the layout of the temple and how offerings worked. We could focus on the literal value of the two coins or mechanisms for collecting the coins (more coins lead to more noise—an audible way of saying, “I’m kind of a big deal.”).

    This passage also has a clear teaching: Jesus values sacrificial offerings. This is personally convicting, but when we are honest, we are left with the question: how much sacrifice is enough?

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  • Sandpaper Spirituality

    When I was a Sophomore in high school, I went to Haiti on a mission trip with my youth group. It was an amazing life-changing experience! One of our projects was to help build a wooden gazebo. We needed to sand a ton of wood by hand, and we were working alongside other Haitian high school students.

    Here’s what you need to know: As a freshman, I had taken a year of woodshop. Essentially, I was an expert woodworker. I was excited and ready for this project!

    The sandpaper was passed out, but there wasn’t enough. Therefore, we were told to rip our piece in half and share it with someone who didn’t have any abrasive (that’s the industry term for sandpaper, in case you didn’t know). This sounds terrible: but I knew I couldn’t share. My piece was already too small, and if I were to make it smaller, I wouldn’t be able to sand effectively.

    Once everyone got started, my youth pastor pulled me aside and asked, “Why didn’t you share your sandpaper?”

    “Look at how small this is. If I give half of it away, I won’t be able to sand the wood.”

    He smiled and said, “The point isn’t to finish the construction. The point is to work together with the Haitians.” I learned that people aren’t interruptions to our ministry, people are our ministry.

    Immediately, I resonated with this—it felt like the light was turned on. This is actually who I am, I am naturally wired to put people before projects, but I didn’t discover that until I was positioned to hear what God wanted to teach me.

    Here’s what I’ve discovered: there are some things God will only teach you while you are serving others.

    Let’s end with a couple of questions:

    If you are stuck in your spiritual life, is it time for you to find a simple way to serve others?

    If you already are serving—either as a habit in your daily life and/or in a ministry team at your church—what has God been teaching you through your ministry?

    God does awesome things through us to make an impact on the lives of other people. He also does amazing things in us, and we don’t want to miss out on how he is forming us to be more like Jesus.

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  • What do you do if your prayers don’t move mountains?

    During a curious encounter with an unfruitful fig tree, Jesus admonishes the disciples to have more faith:

    ““Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.” (Mark 11:22-23)

    What are we supposed to do with this teaching?

    For many followers of Jesus, talking about prayer can lead to feelings of guilt. A passage like this can make things worse. Why can’t I move mountains with my faith? Keep in mind that the purpose of guilt is spiritual growth. It’s a warning sign that ought to point us back to God. Our capacity for guilt shouldn’t drive us away from God! Guilt ought to result in good things!

    First, this isn’t a literal statement. At no point in the 2,000-year history of the church is their a record of someone moving a mountain into the sea through their faith.

    Second, we ought to consider faith and doubt. Their relationship is better seen as a scale or continuum rather than an on or off switch. We have varying levels of faith and doubt, there is an ebb and flow between the two. We see this earlier in the gospel of Mark when a man with a sick child cries out to Jesus, “I believe, help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24).

    Finally, let’s address the failure to move mountains. When our prayers do not move mountains, is it because we have doubts instead of faith in our hearts? Maybe, and maybe not.

    Following Jesus calls for a lifetime of developing and deepening our faith. As time passes, our trust in God ought to grow. We often pray without enough faith, becoming easily discouraged when we ought to be more confident and hopeful in the power of God. He is faithful.

    Some “unanswered” prayers are sincere—fully faithful—but lack wisdom. When we ask for the wrong things, God doesn’t give them to us. God answers the prayers that are according to his will. Some doors are opened, and some remain closed.

    If God doesn’t answer our prayers, it’s typically because God wants to increase our faith or our wisdom. Both options offer avenues for spiritual growth—let’s not wallow in the guilt!

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  • I wish I didn’t have his in common with Lombardi

    I’m the head coach for a youth football team—my youngest sons are on the team. Everything is going great, except we don’t have as many wins as we would like. When I say we don’t have as many wins as we’d like, I mean that we don’t have ANY wins. We are 0-6.

    Other than winning, everything really is going great: kids are having fun, they are learning the game, and several of them have made new friendships and are hanging out with one another outside of football. I have a great bunch of coaches; while we want to win, we are still having fun. I haven’t heard any complaints from the parents—but I’m not holding my breath on that!

    This week, we are playing the best team in Orange County. They have three players over 6’2” … and 220 pounds. Remember, this is youth football; these players are only 13 years old!

    Did I mention that I lost my quarterback last game? And that I lost my backup QB the week before that?

    My two sons know we are playing a tough team. They had two very different responses. Miller said, “Awesome, bring it on.” Mac (sweet Mac!) has been moved to tears four times in the last three days. Tonight, at dinner, he said, “How can you say everything is going to be ok?” I had no idea what he was talking about—then I saw the tears welling up, and I knew what he was talking about. After a little bit of silence, Mac said, “I just want to win a game.”

    Since we’ve lost so many games, I’ve given the “difficult times build character” speech a dozen times. Each time I’ve related sports to “real life,” the lessons learned on the field will translate into facing difficulties at school, friendships, family, and eventually, work.

    Since I was with just my kids, I was able to talk about perseverance from a spiritual perspective. I wish I could say my wisdom made everything better—it didn’t. I wish I had an answer that was funny, clever, and life-changing—it wasn’t.

    They listened, but they didn’t get it. Not yet. So, I must be content with being a planter of seeds, praying that God brings growth.

    Lemme shift gears for a minute. Honestly, as the leader of this team — and as a dad — this isn’t easy for me either. If only I called better plays, ran better practices, and inspiried the players to reach new heights! I want to give up and crawl into a hole! I have a friend who’s been a varsity football coach for a number of years, and I’ve been commiserating with him each week. After my third loss, I said, “Would anyone notice if I stopped coaching?” He said, “Jesus would know.” After my fifth loss, I said, “All I am doing is making mistakes, ” He texted back, “It sucks that the mistakes are always the things we remember. That’s what Lombardi said made him stop coaching.” I wish I didn’t focus on my mistakes–I can confidently say this is the only thing I have in common with Lombardi!

    Life lessons for the kids, and for the coach.

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  • How not to be sad

    “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4)

    There are two different approaches to suffering and sadness. One is healthy, and the other isn’t.

    The unhealthy attitude is the COMPENSATION approach. It views life as a struggle (which it is), but we’ll be compensated in heaven. Truth is, eternity will be great! However, we distort the truth when we believe that things have to be bad now for them to be good in heaven. “If I’m not suffering, then something is wrong.” This poor me approach doesn’t see God as a loving father, but as a vengeful punisher.

    The second attitude towards mourning is the TRANSFORMATION approach. This view is healthy because it seeks to understand how God is working to change us through our suffering, from the inside out. We can be sad as a result of our own choices or through no fault of our own—either way, God can use our mourning to draw us closer to him.

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  • Do you know what it means to be poor in spirit?

    Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 5:3)

    For the original audience, this would have been a shocking statement. It should also be shocking to us!

    First, this teaching was (and is) counterintuitive. How can a spiritually poor person possess a spiritual kingdom? Common sense – in this case, the definition of words – tells us that poverty is the opposite of possessions.

    Second, this teaching was (and is) countercultural. People assume that the kingdom of heaven belongs to the spiritually rich—the religious leaders and spiritual professionals.

    A ladder is only useful if the first step is close to the ground. The Good News is that everyone can become poor in spirit. It’s a step that literally anyone can take.

    Entering God’s kingdom begins once we admit spiritual poverty, which is humility. This is what it means to be saved by grace through faith in Jesus. Humility believes that we are not enough, but that Jesus is.

    Humility is attractive—we like humble people—but few people choose to humble themselves before God and others. There are many challenges to a life of humility. The temptations come from within our hearts and are encouraged by the messages around us. Nor can we forget the enemy, who is constantly working to create distance between us and God.

    Humility ought to be a daily habit, we should never “grow” out of spiritual poverty. We need to create personal rituals and reminders that increase our dependence on God while decreasing how much we rely on our own understanding.

    How did spiritual poverty show up in your life today?

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  • How to Read the Beatitudes

    The most popular beatitudes in Scripture are found in Matthew chapter 5. Jesus begins the sermon on the mount with 8 amazing statements that are both beautiful and shocking. Here are a few things to keep in mind to help increase your understanding.

    The beatitudes are simple, reducing life to a cause-and-effect formula. “Blessed is the person who X, because Y.” Simplicity is powerful because it leads to clarity. Life can be confusing, overwhelming, and difficult. Sometimes, things really are “complicated.” Clarity allows us to move forward, even when we are paralyzed with indecision.

    Even in their simplicity, the beatitudes can be contradictory. How can the poor in spirit, possess the kingdom? To be poor is to be without possessions. How can the meek inherit the earth? Meek is the opposite of aggression and ambition. Contradiction is powerful because it challenges our assumptions, transforming our thoughts to be more like Jesus.

    The beatitudes are internal, they seek to change the deepest parts of our identity. More than external changes, they call for transformation from the inside out. The beauty of internal change is that it is universal, anyone can change … at any time. The beatitudes are for all people in every season of their lives. If you are from God, look to beatitudes to light your path back home.

    The next time you read the beatitudes, do so slowly and with great care. Take time to discover their simplicity, contradiction, and internal challenges.

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  • Does Jesus Want You to Be Happy?

    YES! Jesus wants you to be happy!

    What is happiness and how do we get there?

    This seems like an easy question! Everyone wants to be happy. Here’s where things get interesting: that are conflicting ideas on how to get there.

    Some people love to be liked, and their happiness grows with their popularity. Others love to achieve and accumulate, so their pursuits travel down those roads. Some people love peace, and they avoid conflicts—at all costs—just to be happy.

    Jesus wants us to be happy, but it’s according to his definition, not ours. Let’s call this True Happiness since many people have discovered that their own understandings of happiness have failed to deliver.

    True Happiness starts by admitting that we can’t achieve it on our own. Jesus tells us, “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” This means admitting, in the deepest parts of who we are, that we are spiritually bankrupt.

    We want to pay for happiness, but we simply can’t afford it. When we make this confession, we receive what our souls desperately need.

    This is foolishness! It’s like going to the most expensive store in the world, and looking at the most extravagant thing for sale, and then telling the store owner you can’t afford it. He then gives it to you, as a gift.

    Are you ready to be happy? Have you wandered from True Happiness?

    By the way, if you are interested in learning more about True Happiness, look at Matthew 5:3-10.

  • A Father’s Blessing

    As a kid, I was a terrible baseball player. That didn’t keep my dad from always being there for me. He even coached some of my teams. What I lacked in talent I made up for with unbridled energy and enthusiasm.

    I remember one game in particular. My dad was a little late to the game and my team had taken the field. I saw my dad come sit in the stands, and I got (even more) excited so I yelled, “HEY DAD! I’M PLAYING RIGHT FIELD.”

    I heard the parents in the stands laugh, but I swear to you by all the pizza on the planet, that did nothing to reduce my joy by even a molecule.

    He yelled back, “SON, I CAN SEE THAT!”

    After the game, one of the things my dad said was, “I’m proud of you for giving baseball everything you’ve got and that you have fun doing it.”

    What moves a son to be blessed by his father (or his mother)?

    In that moment, he acknowledged and affirmed me. The power of that blessing has lasted more than four decades.

  • Temporary or Timeless?

    “… an inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade.” (1 Peter 1:4)

    When our hope is in the world and its empty promises, we will always be unsatisfied. Our destiny is disappointment when we live for physical pleasures, emotional highs, and mental diversions.

    These things are temporary because they are grounded in us—our perspectives, our needs. We are always changing and rarely consistent. Need proof?

    Look no further than your fears.

    • If you fear failure, even your greatest successes will fade.
    • If you fear rejection, acceptance from others will spoil.
    • If you fear the unknown, your control has limits and will perish.

    Our inheritance from God is eternal and unchanging. It is not like a body that dies, or food that spoils, or colors that fade.

    Life is a mix of good things and bad things. Triumph lies next to tragedy. One child reaches new heights while another one discovers new depths. A friend builds up while an enemy tears down. We succeed one moment and fail the next—only to live with memories of both.

    In all situations, we must trust in the gift of God. This is our living hope, our strength.

    How so?

    Trusting in the gift takes our focus off our situation and our needs—whether they are fulfilled or frustrated—and lifts our eyes to Jesus.

    The best way to describe the things of this world: “This too shall pass.” But not the gift of God.

  • Rehoboam’s Recklessness

    Solomon’s reign was the “golden age” of Israel, but there was a heavy price: the people were overworked and looking for relief.

    The elders counseled Rehoboam to ease up the pressure. This would win the hearts of the people … they would be his loyal servants.

    Rehoboam rejected the elders. He then asked youngers, who were his friends, for counsel. It’s not hard to believe that they were quick to tell him what he wanted to hear: push the people harder.

    Rehoboam’s recklessness split the kingdom, and Jeroboam became the king in the North. Rehoboam went on to reign for 17 years, but he led his people away from God. The heights of Solomon’s reign found its opposite in the depths of Rehoboam’s leadership.

    What motivated Rehoboam? To be fair, Scripture doesn’t tell us directly what was in his heart.

    It’s clear that Rehoboam rejected the wisdom of the elders and embraced the folly of immature. We know that his rejection of wisdom was ultimately a rejection of God. He was the opposite of Solomon.

    You have influence–everyone does. That is, unless you are alone on a castaway island with great wifi. How will you use your influence? Will you remove burdens from others or will you increase them? Do you need advice? What will you do if you don’t agree?

  • Relational Ministry 101

    “I have much to write to you, but I do not want to use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to visit you and talk with you face to face, so that our joy may be complete.” (2 John 12)

    John used the technology of his time—paper and ink—to influence others. He also knew that some things were best shared in person.

    As youth workers, we know the power of “face-to-face” ministry—this is why we design our ministry programs (like small groups) to build relationships. Being with people is powerful. One thing we’ve learned from the pandemic is how much people need people.
    Technology has its place! According to tradition, John wrote five books in the New Testament—beefy ones too! Consider this:

    Ten sentences can be duplicated and read by a thousand people—that’s a wide net. Those same people can read those ten sentences a thousand times—this net also goes deep. The technology of paper and ink is impressive.

    There’s an important principle in this Scripture: There are different ways to build relationships, and each way comes with strengths and weaknesses.

    As youth workers, we could contextualize this Scripture with the following:

    “I have much to write to you, but I do not want to use texting or direct messages. Instead, I hope to visit you and talk with you face to face, so that our joy may be complete.”

    Digital communication is great! (a) It’s instant, (b) it’s what students use every day (dozens or even hundreds of times), (c) it’s passive in that a student can decide if/when they are going to respond, and finally, (d) emojis.

    Here’s my first challenge: consider using your phone to make a “voice-to-voice” connection rather than texting. For many of us, this sounds crazy and maybe even scary! Phone calls make a huge impact. Think about calling rather than texting.

    Let’s use the weight of this principle to push a little more for a second challenge:

    Group time is great! I believe every student needs to be in a group because it’s a GREAT way to build relationships.

    However, group time also has strengths and weaknesses. Students also need one-on-one conversations. These take more time and effort, but it results in better discipleship. Think about spending one-on-one time with your students.

    In short, we need to use every possible tool to disciple and build relationships: group time, texts, handwritten notes, phone calls, and one-on-one meetings. You don’t need to do everything, all the time (it’s not possible), but make sure you aren’t stuck in a rut.

    Change things up as you feel God is leading so that you can make deeper relational connections with your students.

  • Worthy of Trust

    Would you agree that trust is essential for any significant relationship?

    Of course it is! If you look at the people closest to you, they are the ones who have earned your trust. When a person breaks your trust, you stop relying on them.

    God is looking for people he can trust.

    Jesus trusted John with a vital mission: “Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother … When Jesus saw his mother there, and [John] standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” and to [John], “Here is your mother.” From that time on, [John] took her into his home” (John 19:25-27, NLT).

    Jesus trusted John with a mega-important responsibility: “Take care of my mom because I won’t be around to do it myself.”

    Jesus trusted John, and he also wants to trust you and me. God has a vital mission for everyone who follows him: “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much” (Luke 16:10)

    When God works in our lives, he begins by trusting us with a little. Once we have been faithful, he trusts us with more.

    If you wanted to teach someone how to manage money, you wouldn’t start them off with a million dollars—that’s too much because the temptation to spend foolishly is too great! It would be better to start off with a much smaller amount.

    This is a powerful principle about the spiritual life: be faithful with what you have. If you forget this, your spiritual growth will slow down, stagnate, and then stop.

    Take time in prayer and refection to consider what God has entrusted to you. Think about your relationships, opportunities, and personal strengths.

    Have you proven yourself to be trustworthy?

    This is not about earning God’s love or working for salvation. God’s love is unconditional, and salvation is a gift.

    This is about responding to God’s love by being faithful with what he has already given us.

  • As a leader, what do you do after you’ve been inspired?

    It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way. Proverbs 19:2 (NIV84)

    A few days ago, I left a meeting feeling inspired and challenged. I loved the vision. It was powerful and I was fired up. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t happen in every meeting I attend–unless I’m leading the meeting, of course!

    Although it may not happen every week when you encounter big ideas, what’s your best response? Here are a few ideas to consider:

    Take a moment to thank God. Ultimately, inspiration is a gift from God. Honor him by giving him thanks for the new excitement and enthusiasm. Ask him for wisdom and discernment as you plot a new course.
    Slow down. It’s easy to jump too quickly into task-mode; creating projects, timelines, and to-do lists. Excitement can distort our perception of reality. For example, “I think this is a great idea, everyone else will too!” Let the excitement boil off a little so that you can see things as they really are.
    Don’t change everything. Chances are, most of what’s happening under your leadership is good—so you don’t need to make vast, sweeping changes. And even if you do need to turn everything upside down, too much change will do more damage than the status quo.
    Make it practical. Time to figure out where the rubber meets the road. Transform your inspiration into something practical—do this on your own or with others. In my experience, vision is often overrated and overvalued. Why? Vision is nothing without strategy and execution. Make your inspiration specific. Actionable. Measurable. Create a Big List of possibilities, and then narrow it down to one or two ideas. Once you accomplish the few, you can always return to your Big List for more. Better to do a few things well than fail at the many.
    Refine your ideas. I’m sure there are dozens if not hundreds of ways to refine ideas. Essentially, you either refine your ideas on your own or with others. The key is to know your “go-to” way to process. Start there and do the opposite. Personally, my preference is to reflect and brainstorm on my own. If I truly want the best ideas, then I need to involve others. If you love processing with others, start there–but also take the time on your own to slow down and hear God’s voice so that you can develop and deepen your convictions.
    Jump into Task Mode. Make a plan. Stick to it unless you have some very good reasons to change course. Great leadership means finishing what you set out to do.

  • Leaders Look Beneath the Surface

    “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters,
    but one who has insight draws them out.”     (Proverbs 20:5)

    I’ve made it a priority to make “cold calls” to our students. This isn’t my favorite thing because I’m an over-achiever when it comes to being awkward on the phone.

    In the age of text messages and group threads, phone calls seemed to have gained a greater impact. A few months into the COVID pandemic, I remember a poll from USA Today that affirmed the power of a personal phone call–from a religious leader.

    The other day, I called a student and began with my normal mini-speech:

    “Hi, it’s Matt McGill from Mariners Church. I’m calling through our list to check in and let you know that I’m praying for you. I know that with COVID, some people are having a hard time. Is there anything specific I can pray for?”

    And then there was silence. I was waiting for the hang up (it happens!). Instead I heard a deep intake of air followed by a gigantic sigh of release.

    The response, “Matt, I can’t believe you are calling right now. I just finished school. I’m sitting in my car and I can’t take it any more so I’m crying my eyes out. I never cry, but I’ve just had enough so I decided to let it all out. And now is the time that you call.”

    I’m sure you can imagine my response. I was silenced (which is rare!). I was floored. Humbled. Honored. It was an amazing thing to be used by God to encourage someone who really needed it.

    As leaders, we change lives one conversation at a time. 

    Most of them don’t look like this one! But it’s our responsibility to get ourselves into position so that we can look beneath the carefully fabricated facade that most students project. 

    The surface may be still, but there are deeper waters to explore.

  • How to Cure Your Selfishness

    “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.” (Matthew 20:16)

    Jesus ends the parable of the workers with a promise that turns everything upside down because it’s countercultural and counterintuitive.

    Externally, our culture pulls us to think “me first!” We only need to look as far as our family, friends, media for examples of entitlement. and indulgence.

    We also live with internal pressure that pushes us to be self-centered. The default setting of our souls is to put our needs before others.

    Selfishness is like a train with two engines. One is in the front pulling, pulling, pulling. The second is in the back pushing, pushing, pushing. Both are working together with reckless abandon.

    Consider your own experience: how often do you think of helping others…with zero strings attached? Be honest with yourself! Probably not very often.

    You aren’t alone. More importantly, there’s a cure.

    Jesus ends the parable with the promise, but if you want to know the problem, you have to look a little deeper and read carefully. The way to combat our selfishness is found in Matthew 20:10. “So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more.”

    The unhappy workers looked at others with envy, which quickly turned to entitlement. Their expectations became inflated and the owner refused to indulge their selfishness, and they became disappointed.

    Disappointment springs from distorted expectations.

    The good thing behind this train wreck is that we are given the opportunity to change. To trust God more than we trust our comparisons with others. It’s not easy, but the cure for selfishness is to focus on God rather than others.

    Don’t get caught up in the comparison game. Maybe it’s time for you to take a break from the infinite scroll of your social media feeds and the endless (and empty) chat threads.

    Spend time with God, talk to him, read his word, and consider what he’s doing in your life. As you become more like Jesus, you re-write your story and replace your natural drive with God’s faithfulness.